Jmcl101
Active Member
Lots of time on my hands right now and I need a laugh so let's here some of your best stories from the building site !!!
I'll go first >
A few summers ago I landed a big new build in Cornwall for a farmer. He's been living in a caravan for a few years and finally got Dutchy to grant him a build as long as they're spec was adhered to. So myself and 3 of the lads hopped in the van and off we went.
We were staying in the job on finishing beds and having a drink/smoke in the house most nights as you do when away. Now this place was literally the middle of nowhere, no shop or pub nearby so the farmer being a gent, gave us beer by the crate and cooked us all a proper meal twice a day. Breakfast and dinner and we went 20 miles to the Tesco to get our lunch stuff.
The stairs had an issue and weren't in so we were going up and down on a lAdder to top floor. No toilet anywhere in sight and I'd been sitting on an absolute demon all day, enough was enough.
I went into the master bedroom cupboard armed with a bucket an inch of water full and some bog roll. This f**k*r just wouldn't come out, after a few minutes I felt king kongs finger coming and must've leaned forward off the wall, I hear a THUD as I crimp it loose. f**k me, I've missed the bucket f**k! Now I obviously burst out laughing and try and get my act together fast before I get caught. It's too late, the labourer is up the ladder and sees my stupor, I swear that turd was the size of a f**k**g coke can lol.
So anyway we've all had a right scream and I've finally cleaned myself up and picked this massive s**t up. Just as I come down the ladder with a turd and s**t stained bog roll in a bucked and head for the door to dispose, mr farmer walks in the front door with a tray full of chilli con carne for us all
I blushed and ran out the back, I'm sure he smelled it though.
I'll go first >
A few summers ago I landed a big new build in Cornwall for a farmer. He's been living in a caravan for a few years and finally got Dutchy to grant him a build as long as they're spec was adhered to. So myself and 3 of the lads hopped in the van and off we went.
We were staying in the job on finishing beds and having a drink/smoke in the house most nights as you do when away. Now this place was literally the middle of nowhere, no shop or pub nearby so the farmer being a gent, gave us beer by the crate and cooked us all a proper meal twice a day. Breakfast and dinner and we went 20 miles to the Tesco to get our lunch stuff.
The stairs had an issue and weren't in so we were going up and down on a lAdder to top floor. No toilet anywhere in sight and I'd been sitting on an absolute demon all day, enough was enough.
I went into the master bedroom cupboard armed with a bucket an inch of water full and some bog roll. This f**k*r just wouldn't come out, after a few minutes I felt king kongs finger coming and must've leaned forward off the wall, I hear a THUD as I crimp it loose. f**k me, I've missed the bucket f**k! Now I obviously burst out laughing and try and get my act together fast before I get caught. It's too late, the labourer is up the ladder and sees my stupor, I swear that turd was the size of a f**k**g coke can lol.
So anyway we've all had a right scream and I've finally cleaned myself up and picked this massive s**t up. Just as I come down the ladder with a turd and s**t stained bog roll in a bucked and head for the door to dispose, mr farmer walks in the front door with a tray full of chilli con carne for us all
I blushed and ran out the back, I'm sure he smelled it though.
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