Worst disasters

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superspread said:
Took a bit longer than 15 mins , and was stuck up In sand and cement , which as we all know can be a right nightmare to push and pull to get plumb, I said to you , scrape the floor but don't go within 12 inches of that bead cos I know your gonna knock it, fuc king doughnut :tonto:
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And to make it worse end of week I came yours for my wages and your Mrs was there as you got money you went you looking at my old woman's tits as a 17 year old I didn't know where to look (lovely pair though)
 
Enjoyed reading these, here goes!!!
Working at home splitting the big bedroom up in to 2 for the new baby. First coated, cleans trowel off about to mix up second coat. Put in on a cardboard box it slid down the flap bounce bang threw the expanding foam. Watched it all in slow mo as you do, covered in the s**t. That was no disco!
Doing a corridor wall on a collage stood back off the hop up onto the rim of a black bucket flat on my back, early bath in front of a few heads. Dried off about 2!
Lad that works for me, working on a factory knocked a 6ft feather edge over, knocked the compressed air tap off. Shut factory down for the day.
Same lad another factory crashed scissor lift in to a tin partition on final trowel. External angle to.
Another lad that works for me, decided to use a bag and plasterboard to pack the tressell feet level. Got up went straight through it and tressell smashed the panel on a upvc door and 3 ribs. Poor lad was on his own not wanting to lose the wall till I got there. Black and blue few days later.
Some more will crop up



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zombie said:
Render wash off!

Screw through cable when over boarding!

Stood on a water pipe!

Knocked full bucket of water over upstairs came through living room ceiling!

As above but kitchen ceiling!

Plaster in Eye!

Plaster in mates eye!

Broke a glass wardrobe door!

Knocked over customer 100yr old stone dwarf wall reversing late in dark in winter!

Lost a full room in 1 gauge when a puppy trying to be billy big b*ll***s!

Full tub of PVA down a customers drive!

Fell out a downstairs window after tripping off a planked out room!

I could honestly write a fookin book!
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ohg blimey!!!

I broke some customers ornaments but they should have been out of the room
 
Pagey said:
And to make it worse end of week I came yours for my wages and your Mrs was there as you got money you went you looking at my old woman's tits as a 17 year old I didn't know where to look (lovely pair though)
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a builder I use to work for wife was a stunner with a great pair and i often told him that :D He hated it as I would have to pop round to his house a lot to pick up money and because he was sooo busy I would be there on my own with her.... he use to squirm :D
 
Got to get off this off my chest. Stress big time! Water damaged massive kitchen ceiling. I just finished skimming lounge and it was 3pm. I decided just to have a look at kitchen ceiling as it had a small hole from a water leak. Massive 8 seater oak kitchen table in center of kitchen with big light above .. 6 grands worth of oak apparently. Threw a few dust sheets around and got my steps at the end of table. Was confused about hole? Turned out to be double boarded so i pulled a little to snap off and and see what's under and the whole board popped off. Never fell as I was was end and the other end was under the fancy center light. Clout nails were to short for a double boarded ceiling and it just popped across the whole board. I held it up while thinking about letting it go and the insurance claim. I held it for about an hour as no phone or kit to hand to do anything. Would you let it drop? How long would you wait? £6,000 table under you. The plaster on the board made it heavy, real heavy and I felt sick with stress. Feel sick thinking about it. Don't let this happen to you. The husband turned up and I was fortunate in that he used to be a chippy. Took him half hour to make t bars and move table Oh god! What a day. I got lucky. 75mm screws everywhere. New board and skim. Sorted
 
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Wayners said:
Got to get off this off my chest. Stress big time! Water damaged massive kitchen ceiling. I just finished skimming lounge and it was 3pm. I decided just to have a look at kitchen ceiling as it had a small hole from a water leak. Massive 8 seater oak kitchen table in center of kitchen with big light above .. 6 grands worth of oak apparently. Threw a few dust sheets around and got my steps at the end of table. Was confused about hole? Turned out to be double boarded so i pulled a little to snap off and and see what's under and the whole board popped off. Never fell as I was was end and the other end was under the fancy center light. Clout nails were to short for a double boarded ceiling and it just popped across the whole board. I held it up while thinking about letting it go and the insurance claim. I held it for about an hour as no phone or kit to hand to do anything. Would you let it drop? How long would you wait? £6,000 table under you. The plaster on the board made it heavy, real heavy and I felt sick with stress. Feel sick thinking about it. Don't let this happen to you. The husband turned up and I was fortunate in that he used to be a chippy. Took him half hour to make t bars and move table Oh god! What a day. I got lucky. 75mm screws everywhere. New board and skim. Sorted
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Ouch

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Danny said:
I can't remember any major disasters really

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Really. Foot through 3 ceilings. Screw through 2 water pipes. Locked myself out of one job and walked 4 miles home. The son on another one job locked me in all afternoon and I could not get out. Stair plank broke while holding a £200 glass lamp shade. I could go on. 30 years in the trade i guess
 
Flooded the Hertford hospital when it was being built left hose on in water butt until I heard a load of screaming calling me a c**t so easy to on site work though
 
Tinytom said:
Mate I am honestly crying at this 1 the funniest post Iv ever read. Anywhere, the pissing yourself while flash setting got me. The wife is looking at me gone out
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Haha mate honestly It was the worst day ever.

Just finished laying in washed the kit off and smelt that chemical smell from plaster when it's pulling in like mad. Looked up ceiling was going dark, picked my trowel up and started flattening I'n got from one side to the other and it wasn't holding off.

Got the water brush flicked it and carried on like that for 20 mins. Really needed a piss... my feet and me were covered in skim and I didn't think I'd have time to take me shoes off and run upstairs for a wee so I thought fuc it I'll hold on one last trowel and I'll be ok....... got up on the crate and there it went trickling down my leg. I was like no no no I'll go in the splash bucket undone my button and pissed all down myself hahaha.
 
Vincey said:
Seen a mass brawl 15 trades one had done something to someone's van they kicked off and the rest joined in the fight moved off the site and into the street,

Where normal people were all just making there ways to work 9am
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Had some scaffolders kick off once, we was having a scaffold put up and another company pulled up a few doors down to do a scaffold one of the lads in the other truck was apparently knocking off one of our scaffolders birds he was dragging him out the truck while he was trying to park neighbours were out the lot was a entertaining morning
 
I need to sort me public liability lol
Once caught big glass light fight with trowel . Barley touched it but crack all way down . Just spun it round to wall so you couldn't see.
 
Can't really remember much f**k ups ive did for other people. I'm sure there's one or two but at the min, I just can't remember. One that sticks out thou is when I was building my own house. I knew I had a pipe running under the screed because I was the one who did the plumbing and screeding but I forgot exactly where it was.

So, when laying my semi-solid oak flooring, I thought I'd nail down a 2&1 between the living room/dining so I could work to it. We all know what happened next! Yep, you guessed it, right through the f**k**g pipe I went with the nail!!! Seen that I'd hit the pipe, pulled it out and was pissing out, so had to put the nail back in until I worked out what to do. Got the 240v kango out, plug right beside the busted pipe, kangoed out some of the screed. Had a push fit fitting ready, cut the pipe thinking I'd be able to get the push fit on straight away without to much water leaving the system!

Did it f**k!!! Soon as I cut the pipe in half, the pressure of the water was to much to force it on in a tight space. Flooded the f**k**g place and to make matters worse, the kango while plugged in was now in water and me shitting myself thinking I'm going to get toasted!! Was honestly standing there for a min wondering what in the name of good f**k am I going to do!

Ended up running out the back, cracking open the nut to the oil burner and letting the system drain while I run to the stop cock to stop the mains into the heater tank.

Whole living room/kitchen/dining floor saturated in water. Set me back awhile until it dried out properly!
 
I fell part the way through a ceiling and broke/fractured my wrist... bled all over the floor below and had to wait till someone came back from work to get me out... worked with a broken/fractured wrist for 6 weeks before seeing a doc

other than that I really remember much else
 
Danny said:
I fell part the way through a ceiling and broke/fractured my wrist... bled all over the floor below and had to wait till someone came back from work to get me out... worked with a broken/fractured wrist for 6 weeks before seeing a doc

other than that I really remember much else
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Ouch:confused:
 
Just added another one to the list, put 30 quid petrol in the van stil half asleep this morning. Off to drain the tank now and refill with diesel. £120 down the shitter
 
Tinytom said:
Just added another one to the list, put 30 quid petrol in the van stil half asleep this morning. Off to drain the tank now and refill with diesel. £120 down the shitter
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ah.... I know it is no consolation but a £30 petrol pump is a lot cheaper :D
 
Tinytom said:
Just added another one to the list, put 30 quid petrol in the van stil half asleep this morning. Off to drain the tank now and refill with diesel. £120 down the shitter
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If ye had stuck 70 worth of diesel in and kept it above half for a month the diesel would of diluted the petrol causes it's heavier......done it three times lol
 
Danny said:
I fell part the way through a ceiling and broke/fractured my wrist... bled all over the floor below and had to wait till someone came back from work to get me out... worked with a broken/fractured wrist for 6 weeks before seeing a doc

other than that I really remember much else
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Mate went 'part way through a ceiling' once.

What stopped him going all he way was his plums - one leg either side of the joist. He showed me them in the pub. Black and blue.

Heard a bang once and found my mate lying in the stairwell of a timber frame house on a busted bag of cement. He'd been in the roofspace a moment before, sawing a bit of wind bracing.

Trouble was - he was sat on the bit that he was sawing off.

wile-e-coyote.jpg
 
I torched the clients shed/garage while trying to refill my Zippo lighter in the petrol tank of his ride on lawn mower :(
 
I skimmed over an artex ceiling for this millionaire who owns half of Dundee, he had gave me loads of work in the past. Cleaned up lifted sheets and furniture was back in the room and the ceiling came down in one big sheet all over the furniture and broke the fire place. Was there for hours cleaning up and went back next day to sort it, he never seemed that bothered but never got anymore work off him again

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Had two re-skims over artex come down,one was huge,all down in one crash.Got a splash of skim in me eye,first hawk full,finished the ceiling in pain,went down the eye hospital,10 to 5,bloke says "we're not a 24 hour wal;k in centre mate" so i grabbed him by the throat and squeezed,he went down on his knees,I got escorted out by secutity,still with a sore eye. Also missed the bucket in the back of the van a couple of times when busting for a s**t! Must get a bigger one.
 
Biggest mistake I've ever done was not tell the labourer how much plasticiser in render....... he put way too much in. Thought it was being a f**k*r when I was rubbing it up and should of known then (I was quite young to be fair) whole extension the top coat was soft and blowing and I had to strip top coat and redo....... you only make that mistake once.
 
I brought some waterproofer in a water bottle to do a small job.Of course I was'nt looking properly when I was thirsty and swallowed some of it.Was on my hands and knees getting sick with the woman of the house and her kids looking out the window at me.
 
Once had to park van in a multi storey car park coz the site was getting cleaned up. It was a mini bus kind of thing, we bowled in in the morning, gaffer had given us parking dosh. All good until I was sent over to " get the van so we can get off sharpish".........
Now, the physics of the situation is this.........1x van, 4x blokes, some plaster and tools puts a strain on the suspension........
One bloke, no plaster, no tools = van sits a bit higher!
Couldn't get it out of the car park!! Wouldn't go under the concrete beams let alone the height barrier......
Had to abandon it, and walk back to site to get the blokes so I had ballast!
Must of trapped twenty cars behind me!!!.......pfft
 
My labourer has lost a 6" drain bung down. The newly laid clay drain today. Had to travel back 3 hours home to get my camera and more rods to get the t**t out
 
Tell me about it, just hoping it's not travelled down too far. I can stomach digging the last section back out but anymore than that and he's in for a dig
 
A mate asked me to help him on a bit of a drain job. On a little industrial unit, tenants had been complaining that the poo wasn't disappearing as quickly as they would have liked.........
We lifted manholes, rodded, prodded and couldn't find a blockage....
Worked around the site manhole after manhole....they were gettting deeper and deeper as the ground levels dictated ...More rods were called for......
Then!........"I think we've found it mate"!.......rodded from manholes either side.....nuffin.......he says " it's nearer this end mate, I'll get a torch and hang down the manhole and see if I can spot what is"........ I said " I'll go round these few units and tell them not use the bogs for a minute of two"....... "great" says he....
Now, you'll remember the depth of the manholes was increasing.......
He's a biggish bloke and there was no way he'd fit feet first down to have a looksee.......so he suggested he'd go head first...wait for it.......and I could hold his legs.......seemed like a plan......
All is good, down he goes, gloves, overalls the whole bit.........me hanging onto his legs........
He gets the light right where he can see the blockage.........can't quite make it out....wriggles a bit deeper.......I give him a bit more "slack"....... I've got a bit of strain, I'm braced......he's comfortable.....then he says in an echoing voice" f**k me mate, it's a length of drain rod stuck down 'ere".........." must have come unscrewed years ago when someone else sorted a blockage".......... I relax a bit and say. "Blimey, well at least we know now......how we gonna get it out?".....
Before he could reply we heard the distant echoing sound of a toilet flushing, and in the bottom of the gully the unmistakable signs of a flush......
"Get me out!" He shouts.......but I couldn't.......I just couldn't.....strength deserted me from the convulsions of laughter I was in, plus he was trying an inverted, upside down wriggle to get away from the flush........
He got high enough just in time.
Good job too, it was a large load!!
 
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