Not plastering related, but could do with some personal advice please.

SmoothCriminal

Well-Known Member
God don't bring the poor kid into this trade! Give him a football at 3 months and hope he turns into the next Ronaldo (y) then sit back and enjoy retirement in your 7 bed villa in the Maldives :ROFLMAO:
Nah only joking, course I’d try an get him into something like that. I’d open his mind to anything he wants to do.
 

paulf

Well-Known Member
I don't want opinions which I'm sure youl already know, I just want abit of advice, ill openly admit I'm a wet tart when it comes to her because she's the love of my life and only want to spend it with her, but at the moment I feel used, useless, and not wanted by some I've been with for 13 years and married 3 years we've got a house together and 3 kids, I honestly can't imagine all that being thrown away, I don't want to keep pestering her if she needs space but at the same time, I dying to talk to her.
Your minds working overtime right now and its natural you would feel like this, but you don't want to go down rabbit holes.
 

MakeItSmooth

Well-Known Member
We spoke about having kids ages ago and I said I didn't want one coz after the forth shel want another and she said she wouldn't, she fell pregnant in October last year and we agreed to keep it, then not long after came the miscarriage, she didn't deal with that one very well at all, we had a fall out in February, we decided to give things a go again, then in March she had the second miscarriage which I think has topped all of her emotions.

I don't wish to come across as insensitive with what I'm about to say - I appreciate that it may not be what you want to hear at a difficult time, but I'm going to (respectfully) go ahead and tell you, anyway, because although it may not be what you want to hear right now, I would feel disrespectful for not making you aware of it.

There is a famous book in the fields of nutrition, dental health, and anthropology. It was written by an American dental surgeon by the name of Weston Price, in the early 20th century. He made many anthropological studies of traditional cultures around the globe, seeking to understand what aspects of their diets influenced their dental (and overall) health. The book is called 'Nutrition & Physical Degeneration' (the 'degeneration' aspect relates to the negative effects modern refined foods can have upon dental health).

Anyway, the reason I mention this book is because he made many interesting observations about the cultural practices of these tribes and traditional societies, and one of the things he noted, after talking to these people, is that their traditional wisdom was very specific about what women in the tribe/society who wished to have children should do, prior to conception. Firstly, it was very frowned-upon for a woman to have children too closely together - they would be shunned to some extent if they didn't follow the 'rule' of leaving at least 2 whole years between giving birth to one child, and conceiving the next. To be clear: this '2 year rule' was not a moral rule. It was specifically because many, many generations had noticed that failure to leave at least 2 years between children tended to increase the likelihood of potential problems with the pregnancy, birth, or eventual health of the child. This wisdom has been lost in our modern day society.

Secondly, these traditional tribes/societies made very specific efforts to ensure would-be mothers ate certain highly-nutritious foods (fish eggs being one example). Some of the nutrients contained in the specific 'conception/pregnancy foods' included iodine, selenium, zinc, vitamin A, vitamin D, etc.
Although they didn't know what the individual nutrients were, multiple generations had realised that these foods greatly increased the likelihood of healthy conception/pregnancy and childbirth.

I hope you're not offended by me mentioning this - perhaps it might be of help in future.
 

loky11

Well-Known Member
I don't wish to come across as insensitive with what I'm about to say - I appreciate that it may not be what you want to hear at a difficult time, but I'm going to (respectfully) go ahead and tell you, anyway, because although it may not be what you want to hear right now, I would feel disrespectful for not making you aware of it.

There is a famous book in the fields of nutrition, dental health, and anthropology. It was written by an American dental surgeon by the name of Weston Price, in the early 20th century. He made many anthropological studies of traditional cultures around the globe, seeking to understand what aspects of their diets influenced their dental (and overall) health. The book is called 'Nutrition & Physical Degeneration' (the 'degeneration' aspect relates to the negative effects modern refined foods can have upon dental health).

Anyway, the reason I mention this book is because he made many interesting observations about the cultural practices of these tribes and traditional societies, and one of the things he noted, after talking to these people, is that their traditional wisdom was very specific about what women in the tribe/society who wished to have children should do, prior to conception. Firstly, it was very frowned-upon for a woman to have children too closely together - they would be shunned to some extent if they didn't follow the 'rule' of leaving at least 2 whole years between giving birth to one child, and conceiving the next. To be clear: this '2 year rule' was not a moral rule. It was specifically because many, many generations had noticed that failure to leave at least 2 years between children tended to increase the likelihood of potential problems with the pregnancy, birth, or eventual health of the child. This wisdom has been lost in our modern day society.

Secondly, these traditional tribes/societies made very specific efforts to ensure would-be mothers ate certain highly-nutritious foods (fish eggs being one example). Some of the nutrients contained in the specific 'conception/pregnancy foods' included iodine, vitamin A, vitamin D, etc.
Although they didn't know what the individual nutrients were, multiple generations had realised that these foods greatly increased the likelihood of healthy conception/pregnancy and childbirth.

I hope you are not offended by me mentioning this - perhaps it might be of help in future.
Not at all mate, thanks, at the minute I've tried my best not to break up but if it's what she wants I'm just going to have to deal with the pain and see what happens.
 

JessThePlasterer

Queen Jess Elizabeth I
Sounds like the stopping could be a issue for her.. I think it’s more common than ya think. My girlfriends mentioned it to me a few times. I’m no expert here though, just a thought. But keep this in mind bud... all you can do is be the best of yourself an offer any help needed an support. Beating yourself up an thinking the worst won’t help a thing.. be positive for yourself an for your kids.
I’ve heard a few women say that it’s like a switch that turns on when you’ve had a baby that makes you just want to have babies!

then the switch turns off when your body says that’s enough. Must just be mental hormones! Nature trying to make you procreate.

I don’t think the switch turns off for some
 

smoother09

Well-Known Member
I’ve heard a few women say that it’s like a switch that turns on when you’ve had a baby that makes you just want to have babies!

then the switch turns off when your body says that’s enough. Must just be mental hormones! Nature trying to make you procreate.

I don’t think the switch turns off for some
You be next can I have first dibs on your tools? :ROFLMAO: getting in before skip rat @John j
 

loky11

Well-Known Member
I’ve heard a few women say that it’s like a switch that turns on when you’ve had a baby that makes you just want to have babies!

then the switch turns off when your body says that’s enough. Must just be mental hormones! Nature trying to make you procreate.

I don’t think the switch turns off for some

Really hope that's not the case at all, I do want to have another with her.
 

Vincey

Private Member
Only my personal experience mate but sometimes it’s best to give up trying and move on in life , the feeling for wanting kids will never go but
Failed four ivf cycles took its toll and best thing we did was let it go
 

John j

Mono Don
I don't wish to come across as insensitive with what I'm about to say - I appreciate that it may not be what you want to hear at a difficult time, but I'm going to (respectfully) go ahead and tell you, anyway, because although it may not be what you want to hear right now, I would feel disrespectful for not making you aware of it.

There is a famous book in the fields of nutrition, dental health, and anthropology. It was written by an American dental surgeon by the name of Weston Price, in the early 20th century. He made many anthropological studies of traditional cultures around the globe, seeking to understand what aspects of their diets influenced their dental (and overall) health. The book is called 'Nutrition & Physical Degeneration' (the 'degeneration' aspect relates to the negative effects modern refined foods can have upon dental health).

Anyway, the reason I mention this book is because he made many interesting observations about the cultural practices of these tribes and traditional societies, and one of the things he noted, after talking to these people, is that their traditional wisdom was very specific about what women in the tribe/society who wished to have children should do, prior to conception. Firstly, it was very frowned-upon for a woman to have children too closely together - they would be shunned to some extent if they didn't follow the 'rule' of leaving at least 2 whole years between giving birth to one child, and conceiving the next. To be clear: this '2 year rule' was not a moral rule. It was specifically because many, many generations had noticed that failure to leave at least 2 years between children tended to increase the likelihood of potential problems with the pregnancy, birth, or eventual health of the child. This wisdom has been lost in our modern day society.

Secondly, these traditional tribes/societies made very specific efforts to ensure would-be mothers ate certain highly-nutritious foods (fish eggs being one example). Some of the nutrients contained in the specific 'conception/pregnancy foods' included iodine, selenium, zinc, vitamin A, vitamin D, etc.
Although they didn't know what the individual nutrients were, multiple generations had realised that these foods greatly increased the likelihood of healthy conception/pregnancy and childbirth.

I hope you're not offended by me mentioning this - perhaps it might be of help in future.
Well did it come across as insensitive. I read 2 lines and saw how long or was and sacked it of
 

JessThePlasterer

Queen Jess Elizabeth I
10 6 and 5
I think she might benefit from giving her mind and body a rest before having more. They’re all so young. You’re both very blessed there mate.

having babies can definitely f**k with your head, even though they’re worth it. All my mates ave young children and babies and it’s complete physiological warfare for some of them!

a couple have been to the gp with depression.

im sure you’ll pull through this. It sounds completely feasible the reason is depression/hormones/ grief, that’s a lot for anyone, and not your relationship thats creating the situation
 

JessThePlasterer

Queen Jess Elizabeth I
Only my personal experience mate but sometimes it’s best to give up trying and move on in life , the feeling for wanting kids will never go but
Failed four ivf cycles took its toll and best thing we did was let it go
I told my husband if it ends up just being me and him I’ll count myself very lucky indeed
 

paulf

Well-Known Member
I think she might benefit from giving her mind and body a rest before having more. They’re all so young. You’re both very blessed there mate.

having babies can definitely f**k with your head, even though they’re worth it. All my mates ave young children and babies and it’s complete physiological warfare for some of them!

a couple have been to the gp with depression.

im sure you’ll pull through this. It sounds completely feasible the reason is depression/hormones/ grief, that’s a lot for anyone, and not your relationship thats creating the situation
Motherhood effects every mother differently, even from child to child.
There's no one size fits all, as a parent myself I know how my wife struggled after a miscarriage and then a difficult birth for our second child.
It all effects everyone differently.
 

ChrispyUK

Well-Known Member
Think most has been said. You can’t ‘win’ someone back with logical discussion and a show of love and affection...as it pushes people further apart. The next few months will be torture for all concerned, you’ve just got to try and keep your head mate, which is not easy.
 

Monkey Boy

Well-Known Member
IMO this has been a catalyst for a mid life crisis for her!
She needs to re-calibrate emotionally and giving her space will facilitate that.... where she lands afterwards is a lotto!
As @ChrispyUK said keep your head strong
Yes go and cry but keep your work strong as it will be like medication for you
 

Vincey

Private Member
I told my husband if it ends up just being me and him I’ll count myself very lucky indeed
Thing is no one has everything, I can go through my mates and each one has something that the others don’t and vice versa weather that is health , family, wealth , good relationships, work

the only guy I can think of who has everything is David beckham
 

loky11

Well-Known Member
I think she might benefit from giving her mind and body a rest before having more. They’re all so young. You’re both very blessed there mate.

having babies can definitely f**k with your head, even though they’re worth it. All my mates ave young children and babies and it’s complete physiological warfare for some of them!

a couple have been to the gp with depression.

im sure you’ll pull through this. It sounds completely feasible the reason is depression/hormones/ grief, that’s a lot for anyone, and not your relationship thats creating the situation
Thank you for the reassurance, I appreciate it, currently sat with the mother having it all out.
 

loky11

Well-Known Member
Think most has been said. You can’t ‘win’ someone back with logical discussion and a show of love and affection...as it pushes people further apart. The next few months will be torture for all concerned, you’ve just got to try and keep your head mate, which is not easy.
Thanks mate, it's not easy at all, feel like everything we've worked for Is slowly going down the pan
 

JessThePlasterer

Queen Jess Elizabeth I
Thing is no one has everything, I can go through my mates and each one has something that the others don’t and vice versa weather that is health , family, wealth , good relationships, work

the only guy I can think of who has everything is David beckham
And yet he wasn’t satisfied and had to stick his dick elsewhere!
 

paulf

Well-Known Member
And yet he wasn’t satisfied and had to stick his dick elsewhere!
Pity the poor sod that witnessed
20210402_214946.jpg
 

smoother09

Well-Known Member
Thing is no one has everything, I can go through my mates and each one has something that the others don’t and vice versa weather that is health , family, wealth , good relationships, work

the only guy I can think of who has everything is David beckham
Fk that posh spice? No thanks I preferred baby!
 

Dollar

Well-Known Member
Thing is no one has everything, I can go through my mates and each one has something that the others don’t and vice versa weather that is health , family, wealth , good relationships, work

the only guy I can think of who has everything is dollar & he is woke !

Romantic love is mental illness
your welcome
 
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