You should say to them very cold and calm "Do you want to know why I went to Prison!?" Whilst grabbing your Stanley and lump hammerLove some of these, as said above this is why I don't generally work for anyone else, have had to put up with s**t prep from builders etc/ in the past, f**k all that!
Can't stand the customers that don't offer you a f**k**g cup of tea either, and when you cheekily ask for one that's it, the one, you don't hear from them again the rest of the day. You even suggest making them yourself 'NO, I'll get it.'.. f**k me you possessive c**ts, f**k off wankers that don't trust you being in their house.
Just start the conversation "I have multiple personality dissorder........ I'm really sorry but my Mr Hyde is about to start if you don't f**k off !!"I hate the customers that have no social skills who don't know how to hold a conversation, and they are always the ones that stand in the corner of the room watching you.
And when they have little weird kids that equally have no social skills and demonically stair at you through the door.
Or w**k*r kids that jump on your dust sheets and tell me 'I'm allowed to do this', no you aint you little f**k I'll stick my claw hammer in the back of your head and skull f**k you if your mum don't tell you to pack it in!!!
And customers that call you, and expect you to lead the converstion as if you f**k**g called them!!! Seriously?!?!
I had this a while back doing the insurance work. Cleaned up before i started. But kept it seperate. Did all the chases. Cleaned up. Got the job signed off then tipped all the sparkys rubbish back on the floor and spread it about and told the office he needs to come back and sort it. How petty is that lolPatching a house after a rewire and conjute sitting proud of the wall and boxes not even set all while walking over a pile of rubble and wire off cuts.
Had this Monday-Tuesday. Will that bit be filled? Does it need another coat? What about that little splash on the finished wall. He came in again and before he could say anything i said what are you going to pick at now? I said let me finish then you can pick fault. Finished up. Scraped and swept the floor. Even offered to hoover and mop which he declined. Chuffed with everything all paid up. sometimes they just need tellingChewy customers that stand over you scrutinising everything.
Is that the finish?
No I haven't flattened it in yet. f**k off
Had this on the same job^^Sparks second fixing before plastering. Skimming ceilings with 24 new spots fitted. f**k**g backward.
Lumps in plaster
Those joists on overboards that just disappear
Customers who worry
Customer that stand behind you
Customers that try and work out your day rate
Customers that think they can board
Customers that think £80.00 is about right for you
Customers that think adding work on shouldn't be extra ££££
Customers that think if they pay you £xxx you get £xxx in your pocket
Customers that don't have anywhere to tip dirty water
People that ring and ask for your day rate
People that ring and ask for a m2 rate
People that ring and ask how much to plaster (insert)
People that ring and ask how much to render a house
People that say "cheapest"
Render customers that think stripping a house of render shouldn't cause any dust or mess
Customers that think your an -
Facia and sofit man
Soil stack sorter
Brick tape that falls off in the rain
That bit between a conservatory and below a window
Fraying mesh (Parex)
I think that's about it for me
Good call I like your style beddy lol. must be a spark thing we clean and clean after a job and still get called the messy ones just cause theirs is dry mess they get away with it.I had this a while back doing the insurance work. Cleaned up before i started. But kept it seperate. Did all the chases. Cleaned up. Got the job signed off then tipped all the sparkys rubbish back on the floor and spread it about and told the office he needs to come back and sort it. How petty is that lol
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Makes my blood boil customers like that, and the can you skim Half a wall in my kitchen it'll only take you half an hr. Emm sorry I'm a bit busyCustomers that tell you how long a job will take.
Had a great one this week.
Bloke turned up on a job I'm doing. Goes.. right your the 1st bloke I've come to, don't mess me about, I live just up the road. I need you to come up and price this work. It's only a day. I don't mind paying a bit more for a good job, don't let me down, don't f**k me about. And I want it done this week. When can you start?
I said, won't be doing it this week.
His reply, we'll don't f**k**g bother then. Then he left.
Felt like I'd been assulted afterwards. My mate was pissing himself. [emoji43]
Yeah, and they look at you like you're mental when you say doesn't matter how big the gauge is, it still takes the same amount of time to go off.Makes my blood boil customers like that, and the can you skim Half a wall in my kitchen it'll only take you half an hr. Emm sorry I'm a bit busy
They'd prob pay u cause after you give your second trowel and start packing mixing Matt up they always think you are finished.Yeah, and they look at you like you're mental when you say doesn't matter how big the gauge is, it still takes the same amount of time to go off.
Sometimes get tempted to do those ones then leave after 30mins!!