Best joke you've heard...
- Thread starter Dropsalot
- Start date
jamesthefirst
Private Member
Three BG reps walk into a bar......
The barman says "I'll get back to you!"
The barman says "I'll get back to you!"
GypsumSnorter
Active Member
A judge has to convict two drug addicts but it is late on a Friday and he is in a rush to get to a posh do. So he says to them "listen guys, I want to give you both a chance so if you come back on Monday and have got some other people off drugs I`ll let you off". The two drug addicts cant believe their luck, nod and leave.
Monday comes and the judge asks the first guy "how many people did you get off drugs?", so the guy says "4 Your honour", the judge asks him how and the guy replies "Well I drew 2 circles, one was massive and the other was small. I pointed at the big one and said -this is the size of your brain before you get on drugs- and then I pointed to the small circle and said -this is the size of your brain after you've taken drugs-". The judge is very impressed and says "very well, I will let you leave without further punishment".
He then turns to the second guy and asks him how many people he got off drugs "2542" replies the guy. The judge asks him "Astonishing, how? "Oh it was very simple" he replies "I used the 2circle method too...only I pointed to the tiny circle and said -this is the size of your arsehole before you go to prison..."
Monday comes and the judge asks the first guy "how many people did you get off drugs?", so the guy says "4 Your honour", the judge asks him how and the guy replies "Well I drew 2 circles, one was massive and the other was small. I pointed at the big one and said -this is the size of your brain before you get on drugs- and then I pointed to the small circle and said -this is the size of your brain after you've taken drugs-". The judge is very impressed and says "very well, I will let you leave without further punishment".
He then turns to the second guy and asks him how many people he got off drugs "2542" replies the guy. The judge asks him "Astonishing, how? "Oh it was very simple" he replies "I used the 2circle method too...only I pointed to the tiny circle and said -this is the size of your arsehole before you go to prison..."
Nasty big skinhead is in court in front of an old, deaf but very experienced and very posh judge,
Judge says "well we have heard from learned counsel the extremes of your violent conduct, and the effect it has had upon your victims, before I sentence you, do you have anything to say?"........ The big skinhead replied
"FU#K ALL"..........
The judge leaned forward to speak to the clerk and said"what did he say?"..... Clerk replied " fu*k all, your honour".......
Judge says "don't be a c*nt.....I saw his lips move!"
Judge says "well we have heard from learned counsel the extremes of your violent conduct, and the effect it has had upon your victims, before I sentence you, do you have anything to say?"........ The big skinhead replied
"FU#K ALL"..........
The judge leaned forward to speak to the clerk and said"what did he say?"..... Clerk replied " fu*k all, your honour".......
Judge says "don't be a c*nt.....I saw his lips move!"
Ohhhhh, I get it now.......fuuunny
Smudger1
Well-Known Member
Fred has to make a delivery and his boss tells him to be very careful....The name is Mrs Franny and she will be very angry if you mispronounce it!....this makes Fred nervous so all the way to her house he rehearses "morning Mrs Franny......morning Mrs Franny....morning Mrs Franny"....he arrives at the door and she opens it and he says "morning Mrs Crunt"
jamesthefirst
Private Member
Scumbag journalists
Danny
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that must be sole destroying