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Is it my bad luck or is it Every time you have a good drop on a customers toilet its a shite toilet and you need to stay there for half hour to flush it three times
 
Once had a shite in bucket in back of van waiting for some one to turn up to let me in property. Bloody door slid shut so I was fumbling bout trying to find handle while not kicking a bucket of shite over
 
Mouldyoldspudgun said:
You never worked on site have you? I remember a tin with a seat on it stuck in a shed the size of a sentry box, no light, torn up newspaper for loo roll, oh the good old days. Hundredweight bags of plaster too 12ton all hand balled off. I really do miss them days before EU stepped in
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I mind a job bout 11 years ago, an auld portaloo, think was one, maybe two on whole site, of 50 houses, it had a pokey stick in it. Had to make sure u were concentrating for u def wouldn't have wanted to lift it by the wrong end.
 
Pah this thread is hilarious!!

Was swapping poo stories with a builder we work with and his mate had a crap in an old bag then thought he'd burn it to get rid. All the paper burnt away and left a big steaming turd on the ground :ROFLMAO:
 
John j said:
Come on who hasn't s**t in a empty bag of finish . Other week we went to a job and hit traffic 2 and half hours and was dying for bog. Builder phoned and asked where we were. I said 5 mins away and make sure no ones on that toilet. Still dont know how I never s**t me sen
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Even my wife shat in a bag of finish :D when I ripped the bathroom out she was less than impressed but did what she needed to do :D
 
Makes me laugh when the odd time the builder looks for a safe pass and not a toilet on the job.Does’nt bother me but the reality is if one complained they would’nt get any work.
 
The best one for me was taking a s**t in a multi bag upstairs and sprinting down the stairs. just beating the customer by seconds of coming in ... no doors anywhere.
Straight in the skip ... both standing in the living room talking , who walks past a tramp starts rooting threw the skip .. already feeling a little nervous as he gets close to that bag... ye grabs the bag rips it open all over the f**k**g place to my disgust definitely gets it on him and and all over the floor i couldnt take it at this point and just tried my look and said the dirty man even took a number two in there and forgot about it...
Not sure if she belived me or not but i wernt owning to that one
 
I had a s**t in a rubble bag at an empty house in the garage thinking it'll be fine because the plumbers were always late. Then had to go through the house to the skip out front. Just as I got to the door it opened before me and in entered the electrician who'd left his diary. Had to stand chatting with him for five/ten minutes holding a bag of poo before he eventually f**k*d off!

..... electricians...:nocausagracia:
 
Formby plastering said:
The best one for me was taking a s**t in a multi bag upstairs and sprinting down the stairs. just beating the customer by seconds of coming in ... no doors anywhere.
Straight in the skip ... both standing in the living room talking , who walks past a tramp starts rooting threw the skip .. already feeling a little nervous as he gets close to that bag... ye grabs the bag rips it open all over the f**k**g place to my disgust definitely gets it on him and and all over the floor i couldnt take it at this point and just tried my look and said the dirty man even took a number two in there and forgot about it...
Not sure if she belived me or not but i wernt owning to that one
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That's F*****g brilliant!!!!!
 
JessThePlasterer said:
I had a s**t in a rubble bag at an empty house in the garage thinking it'll be fine because the plumbers were always late. Then had to go through the house to the skip out front. Just as I got to the door it opened before me and in entered the electrician who'd left his diary. Had to stand chatting with him for five/ten minutes holding a bag of poo before he eventually f**k*d off!

..... electricians...:nocausagracia:
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Ooooooohhhhhh Jessica plastering really has corrupted you
 
Builderboi said:
Pooing in rubble sacks then holding it while talking to the elektrikery man?
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I've just always been able to tramp it up with the best of them! :D

(He's lucky he was a polite elektrikery man with clipped and tucked in wires.... no one wants a smack in the face with a bag of poo! :LOL:)
 
Realisation just hit, f**k yes I need to go back to work!!!

I've spent all day deep cleaning the house, done food shop while Si has sat in his pants watching telly. Now I'm cooking while he is drinking beer

I seem to have grown a massive vagina and need to get back on tools

Shits gone wrong :llorando:
 
JessThePlasterer said:
Realisation just hit, f**k yes I need to go back to work!!!

I've spent all day deep cleaning the house, done food shop while Si has sat in his pants watching telly. Now I'm cooking while he is drinking beer

I seem to have grown a massive vagina and need to get back on tools

Shits gone wrong :llorando:
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what part of mcr you from Jess I'm from Manchester near traf centre
 
madmonk said:
what pub Jess
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Beer studio is walking distance for me, they have a decent selection of ales and a pool table and curry mile just up road.... aye! And sometimes I wonder into the fallow especially if there's an open mike poetry night on because it's pretentious and s**t and funny to get leathered and mock them :ROFLMAO:
 
JessThePlasterer said:
Beer studio is walking distance for me, they have a decent selection of ales and a pool table and curry mile just up road.... aye! And sometimes I wonder into the fallow especially if there's an open mike poetry night on because it's pretentious and s**t and funny to get leathered and mock them :ROFLMAO:
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JessThePlasterer said:
Beer studio is walking distance for me, they have a decent selection of ales and a pool table and curry mile just up road.... aye! And sometimes I wonder into the fallow especially if there's an open mike poetry night on because it's pretentious and s**t and funny to get leathered and mock them :ROFLMAO:
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yeah know it well corner of wilmslow rd looks like an old small church I'm sure it use to be called summat else that
 
madmonk said:
yeah know it well corner of wilmslow rd looks like an old small church I'm sure it use to be called summat else that
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Yeah it's attached to that but a different pub. Can't think what the church one is called, I never go in there, massive student place, no atmosphere and everything served in plastic glasses :rolleyes:
 
Always got told holding it in all day is gonna have long term effects so try to be regular in the morning but many a time after a night on the piss in the past I’ve had that 5 second thing where all of a sudden it comes on and any old bag/spot will do and deal with the consequences of no bog roll ect afterwards

Random question/query here
Why is it when your driving home need a brad Pitt and the closer you get to Home the worse it gets? Or is that just me
 
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Pagey said:
Always got told holding it in all day is gonna have long term effects so try to be regular in the morning but many a time after a night on the piss in the past I’ve had that 5 second thing where all of a sudden it comes on and any old bag/spot will do and deal with the consequences of no bog roll ect afterwards

Random question/query here
Why is it when your driving home need a brad Pitt and the closer you get to Home the worse it gets? Or is that just me
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I think that’s normal
 
:risas2:
Formby plastering said:
The best one for me was taking a s**t in a multi bag upstairs and sprinting down the stairs. just beating the customer by seconds of coming in ... no doors anywhere.
Straight in the skip ... both standing in the living room talking , who walks past a tramp starts rooting threw the skip .. already feeling a little nervous as he gets close to that bag... ye grabs the bag rips it open all over the f**k**g place to my disgust definitely gets it on him and and all over the floor i couldnt take it at this point and just tried my look and said the dirty man even took a number two in there and forgot about it...
Not sure if she belived me or not but i wernt owning to that one
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:risas2:
 
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