Mental health help.

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loky11

Well-Known Member
Hi chaps,

I don't really know what to do, I've just found out my little bro is depressed and anxious, he's 20 yrs old, he's only told my mum last week and made her promise not to tell anyone, but she's told me if confidence, he doesn't know I know but my mum doesn't know what to do as she feels she can't tell anyone, he's told her today he feels like ending it, she has her own health problems and I'm worrying for the pair of them, has anyone been through depression etc ? How did you get through it ? Cheers.
 
I know that seeking professional help is not what people want to do, but it's the best thing to do.
 
20 year old sleeping all day and playing computer all night is perfectly normal.
He will grow out of it unfortunately.
 
loky11 said:
Hi chaps,

I don't really know what to do, I've just found out my little bro is depressed and anxious, he's 20 yrs old, he's only told my mum last week and made her promise not to tell anyone, but she's told me if confidence, he doesn't know I know but my mum doesn't know what to do as she feels she can't tell anyone, he's told her today he feels like ending it, she has her own health problems and I'm worrying for the pair of them, has anyone been through depression etc ? How did you get through it ? Cheers.
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Talk to him. Just talk to him. My mother in law tried 3 times. Dont let things wait get him the help he needs.
 
loky11, is there a councillor that you can speak to? I had a girlfriend in the late 90's-early 200's that was trying to keep off heroin. I had no idea that she had just come off heroin when I met her. She had a respectable job and all that. Anyway, she gradually turned into a nightmare and eventually told me that she had a heroin problem but had managed to stay off it for several months. I told her to speak to a councilor. She wouldn't so I went to a councilor that helps people that are trying to help people with drug problems. It was so helpful not only for me but also to help me help my girlfriend. Maybe there is someone like that for you that can offer advice on how to help your brother, m8?
 
tapit said:
20 year old sleeping all day and playing computer all night is perfectly normal.
He will grow out of it unfortunately.
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Swanseadan said:
Talk to him. Just talk to him. My mother in law tried 3 times. Dont let things wait get him the help he needs.
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I can't let him know I know, mother would hit the roof, he's told her not to tell anyone, if he knew I know he wouldn't trust her again.
 
BigBruvOfEnglandUK said:
loky11, is there a councillor that you can speak to? I had a girlfriend in the late 90's-early 200's that was trying to keep off heroin. I had no idea that she had just come off heroin when I met her. She had a respectable job and all that. Anyway, she gradually turned into a nightmare and eventually told me that she had a heroin problem but had managed to stay off it for several months. I told her to speak to a councilor. She wouldn't so I went to a councilor that helps people that are trying to help people with drug problems. It was so helpful not only for me but also to help me help my girlfriend. Maybe there is someone like that for you that can offer advice on how to help your brother, m8?
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I'm not entirely sure, he's at Dr's on Monday to speak to a mental health nurse, I just hope he tells her everything.
 
I would take BigBruv’s advice if it was me. Even if you never let on to him you know, I’d want to arm myself with knowledge. It’s not just understanding the illness, it’s learning how to support, how to talk to that person.

It’s amazing what a professional can teach you. A f**k tonne of stuff you don’t know you don’t know.

Best of luck to you and your family
 
I was contemplating joining the samaritans a while back to speak to people on the phone when they call looking for help, it's normally about 3 or 4 hours a week you volunteer for, It's quite a long and indepth training schedule you have to undertake to be allowed to do it, plus not everyone who volunteers to help is able or deemed fully competent enough to help, which is a good thing Imo,
get him to call the samaritans or contact them yourself to get some advice about helping
your brother or anyone else in that situation.
 
JessThePlasterer said:
I would take BigBruv’s advice if it was me. Even if you never let on to him you know, I’d want to arm myself with knowledge. It’s not just understanding the illness, it’s learning how to support, how to talk to that person.

It’s amazing what a professional can teach you. A f**k tonne of stuff you don’t know you don’t know.

Best of luck to you and your family
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f**k I never knew you had a pierced lip
 
loky11 said:
Hi chaps,

I don't really know what to do, I've just found out my little bro is depressed and anxious, he's 20 yrs old, he's only told my mum last week and made her promise not to tell anyone, but she's told me if confidence, he doesn't know I know but my mum doesn't know what to do as she feels she can't tell anyone, he's told her today he feels like ending it, she has her own health problems and I'm worrying for the pair of them, has anyone been through depression etc ? How did you get through it ? Cheers.
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Hi,

I hope your little bro is now in a good place considering you posted this last year?

Mental Health is such a big thing now and it's no longer a taboo like it once was.

All I can say on this matter is it's important for anyone who is feeling low to seek professional help including talking to friends and family to ease the pain.

Sadly a lot of men goes through this phase in their lifetime and it's not easy to deal with, but talking to
people close to you really helps matters, including maintaining a Healthy lifestyle.
 
loky11 said:
I can't let him know I know, mother would hit the roof, he's told her not to tell anyone, if he knew I know he wouldn't trust her again.
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Can't you take him for a couple of rounds of golf?


4 to 5 hours in peace with no distractions could enable him to talk and open up.

Doesn't matter if you play or not.



Time is key - invaluable.
 
tlogic said:
Hi,

I hope your little bro is now in a good place considering you posted this last year?

Mental Health is such a big thing now and it's no longer a taboo like it once was.

All I can say on this matter is it's important for anyone who is feeling low to seek professional help including talking to friends and family to ease the pain.

Sadly a lot of men goes through this phase in their lifetime and it's not easy to deal with, but talking to
people close to you really helps matters, including maintaining a Healthy lifestyle.
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Hi mate, he seems alot better in him self, he's actually had a couple of driving tests but failed them, he's got it booked again though, the mother hasn't said anything else to me about him so I'm guessing he's good, he's been with me a few times to work and going out and about more, he takes the dogs for walks aswell, so hopefully things are looking up for him.
 
bobski said:
Can't you take him for a couple of rounds of golf?


4 to 5 hours in peace with no distractions could enable him to talk and open up.

Doesn't matter if you play or not.




Time is key - invaluable.
Click to expand...

He's quite stubborn when it comes to doing things he doesn't want to do, he seems better now.
 
Since this post, my brother seems alot better now, he's smiling more and talking more.

Unfortunately on new years day I found out a good friend and work associate, had taken his own life on nye, he was a sparky who got me £1000s of work a year but also pit of work he would often stop by my house for a chat, genuinely one of the best blokes I've ever met, would do anything for anyone, un beknown to me he was struggling, its now come out he owed a lot of money, I still think about him every day :(
 
loky11 said:
Since this post, my brother seems alot better now, he's smiling more and talking more.

Unfortunately on new years day I found out a good friend and work associate, had taken his own life on nye, he was a sparky who got me £1000s of work a year but also pit of work he would often stop by my house for a chat, genuinely one of the best blokes I've ever met, would do anything for anyone, un beknown to me he was struggling, its now come out he owed a lot of money, I still think about him every day :(
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s**t happens .
 
loky11 said:
Since this post, my brother seems alot better now, he's smiling more and talking more.

Unfortunately on new years day I found out a good friend and work associate, had taken his own life on nye, he was a sparky who got me £1000s of work a year but also pit of work he would often stop by my house for a chat, genuinely one of the best blokes I've ever met, would do anything for anyone, un beknown to me he was struggling, its now come out he owed a lot of money, I still think about him every day :(
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What's your point ?
 
Jesus, are you on some sort of powder ? Or had one too many jars ? Either way, think you should get your head down for the night mush
 
All the men in our family have depression, one attempted suicide and another ended up hanging himself. Unfortunately when you try to get help it's either not there, or the so-called professionals apply a plaster and tickbox you. I trained to be a mental health listener and it's never easy to open up to others, that cloud can be too dark sometimes
 
loky11 said:
Hi mate, he seems alot better in him self, he's actually had a couple of driving tests but failed them, he's got it booked again though, the mother hasn't said anything else to me about him so I'm guessing he's good, he's been with me a few times to work and going out and about more, he takes the dogs for walks aswell, so hopefully things are looking up for him.
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Thanks for the update.

Thats brilliant news that your bro doing well. I'm sure you already do but keep him involved with things you do :)

I went to one of my best mate funeral last week who also took his own life which was MH related.
This was totally out the blue and hit me for 6 when I found out through FB from his family.
I wished I kept in touch with him more often.

P.S ignore the stupid comments.
 
LarryTheDecorator said:
All the men in our family have depression, one attempted suicide and another ended up hanging himself. Unfortunately when you try to get help it's either not there, or the so-called professionals apply a plaster and tickbox you. I trained to be a mental health listener and it's never easy to open up to others, that cloud can be too dark sometimes
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Ah mate, sorry to hear that, its s**t, when I was in a s**t place, he was the first person I spoke to, he took an hour out of his day to talk to me, even though he was always always non stop busy, just wish he knew he could of spoke to me, he had it all set in concrete what he was going to do, I'd only spoke to him the day before, about work. The world needs more people like you
 
tlogic said:
Thanks for the update.

Thats brilliant news that your bro doing well. I'm sure you already do but keep him involved with things you do :)

I went to one of my best mate funeral last week who also took his own life which was MH related.
This was totally out the blue and hit me for 6 when I found out through FB from his family.
I wished I kept in touch with him more often.

P.S ignore the stupid comments.
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Thanks mate, sorry to hear that, its a very hard pill to swallow, you will be thinking wish I'd done this and done that, I know I did but you just can't say it to yourself, it won't change anything, I was working with him just before Christmas and he looked soo down and all quiet but I just put it down to stress of customers and work, I almost rang him that night to ask if he was OK but again just thought he'd say yea mate just customers doing my head in. It's a big shock finding something like that out
 
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