Cleaning bottom

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irish_spread

Private Member
What do you guys do after a sh1te ? I normally use toilet paper but if it's really bad I have a bath. Not every week obviously :RpS_thumbsup:
 

irish_spread

Private Member
I like to pre emt my next dump, bit of internal finger/paper action, but that's me, an old school priest :RpS_thumbup:
 

flynnyman

Well-Known Member
Do you ever get up after a **** and think "**** I forgot to have a piss?" **** me your only there doing two things...... Maybe three ;) then you have a piss and think "**** it I might aswell have another ****" :)
 

church

Well-Known Member
another great thread here , Wet wipes for me all the way , then skip all the way back to work
 

church

Well-Known Member
i stumbled on the idea years ago when i got caught short , had to sit on a bucket in the back of a van all i had was the lemon KFC type , thought to myself if only they were a bit bigger :RpS_thumbup:
 

Marshy

Private Member
Just don't do what this kitchen fitter did on a job and used "Wonder wipes" as there was no **** roll on site! He had burning ring sting all morning and was in agony :RpS_laugh:
 

church

Well-Known Member
the first thing i look for when using the customers toilet is air freshner heart sinks when theres not any , then a lock on the door ( try it twice when the doors open ) nothing worse than getting locked in and having to call for help .
 

3kids1dog

Member
Try using wonder wipes or maybe the equivalent a broken bottle to wipe your arse if no wonder wipes try soaking kitchen roll in old spice or hai karate for similar effect . Speaking of poo ! I did one of them phantom ones this morning you know the ones that hurt like f### when your pushing out and it goes keplunk and wets your arse then you wipe and there's nowt there and when you come to flush it's already f###ed off round the u bend only to make an appearance later on in the day. Another thought I always do a little piss after after a number 2
 

Olican

Private Member
I had a chicken phall last week with extra chilli ( I likes it hot) next morning my poo looked a bright red colour :eek: didnt hurt on its way out, if anything it was quite pleasurable ;)
 

church

Well-Known Member
had a lab who never wiped his bum once (no paper ), said it was a ghost poo , but surely you would still check just in case :RpS_unsure:
 

SpankySouthport

Private Member
Love dropping a log, customers houses not so much! 2 a day is the norm don't get how some people go a whole week without a turd! Jeez you must tear yourself a new one every fckin week!!

Comon now slack asses show yourselves ;)
 

TheWand

Active Member
A ghostie........................not often you get one of them....................but i agree, your ass still needs a courtesy wipe
 

TheWand

Active Member
@Marshy cheers for the like on the ring of fire post.....................are we buddies now??
 
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Rhys

Well-Known Member
I find Spunk eases the **** out so easy you hardly need to wipe.

Don't you find it get a bit 'packed in'? :RpS_lol:

i stumbled on the idea years ago when i got caught short , had to sit on a bucket in the back of a van all i had was the lemon KFC type , thought to myself if only they were a bit bigger :RpS_thumbup:

You use it to pick the sh!t out from under your fingernails.. :RpS_blink:

the first thing i look for when using the customers toilet is air freshner heart sinks when theres not any , then a lock on the door ( try it twice when the doors open ) nothing worse than getting locked in and having to call for help .

Been there, door handle didn't work! Had to use blade onn small tool I luckily had in my pocket to slide down the door frame to push the catch back - owners son went for a dump, got locked in and his dad had to break down the door :RpS_laugh:

I had a chicken phall last week with extra chilli ( I likes it hot) next morning my poo looked a bright red colour :eek: didnt hurt on its way out, if anything it was quite pleasurable ;)

Not "Ghandi's Revenge" then? :RpS_thumbup:
 

BobbyJack

Well-Known Member
I sit on the bog and read through the forum. Times have changed. My dad would have sat there with a newspaper or book for an hour when I was young but now technology is key. On a side note how often do you crap. Doc says I'm basically a lazy shitter. I go to he toilet on average once every 4 to 5 days. Only time it changes is if I eat a curry
 

Rhys

Well-Known Member
I sit on the bog and read through the forum. Times have changed. My dad would have sat there with a newspaper or book for an hour when I was young but now technology is key. On a side note how often do you crap. Doc says I'm basically a lazy shitter. I go to he toilet on average once every 4 to 5 days. Only time it changes is if I eat a curry

I'm like clockwork every morning at 6am, don't wake up till half passed though :-(
 
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