New start!!!

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Fatarm

Trainee mod
We've Got a new boy starting on Monday, 16-17 yr old, obviously he'll be a bit green and naive,so lookin for some ideas to give him a warm welcome, ie bubble for spirit level, left hand screwdriver etc. These examples are a bit out dated I know, feck sake I fell for them when I was the boy,so ideas welcome lads cheers. :RpS_thumbup:
 

Fatarm

Trainee mod
Obviously there's this one:
hahaha, not seen that one before mate, seen a different one on u tube, wish I had the balls to go for it, might be a goer tho if am feelin brave, film it too mmmmmm??
 
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Arti

Well-Known Member
sky hook, tartan paint, long stand........ or you could just break him in by roasting him
 
O was gonna suggest the bag one nisus poster. Brilliant laugh. Make sure you tell him on sunday that he will need a change of clothes for travelling in the van though
 

flat boy skim

Private Member
when i first started there was a few of us labs on a big job knocking up browing,one of the plasterers said to the new lab ,your knocking up browing in this bath, you need to take your shoes and socks off and get in lol you can imagine it was funny.
a bit like this
IMG_3300.JPG
 

hector

Well-Known Member
pee in his flask,nail his bait box to the floor, camaflauge paint,4 weeks of nothing but mixing plaster tidying up sweeping , whatever he likes pop group football team alcohol,tell him you like the opposite,oh happy days still having therapy and flashbacks 36 years later,all best fatarm hector.
 

flat boy skim

Private Member
pee in his flask,nail his bait box to the floor, camaflauge paint,4 weeks of nothing but mixing plaster tidying up sweeping , whatever he likes pop group football team alcohol,tell him you like the opposite,oh happy days still having therapy and flashbacks 36 years later,all best fatarm hector.

pardon???
 

Fatarm

Trainee mod
pee in his flask,nail his bait box to the floor, camaflauge paint,4 weeks of nothing but mixing plaster tidying up sweeping , whatever he likes pop group football team alcohol,tell him you like the opposite,oh happy days still having therapy and flashbacks 36 years later,all best fatarm hector.

Hahaha, nice one Hector, I know what you mean, still have flashbacks toolol but I feel it is my duty to pass on these little nuggets of fun to them,it's tradition,these days tho with health and safety better do a risk assesment and method statement lol I remember one of many I fell for, I got sent to the chip shop at lunchtime, one of the guys told me to get a bag of chicken lips! And me being the right prick fell for it, the shop was mobbed too, arghh:RpS_cursing:
 

essexandy

The Lake Governor
On my first day I was told to go to the compound for a long weight, I twigged it straight away and went and sat drinking tea all afternoon in the foremans office. They left me alone after that.
 

Jace

Well-Known Member
on of the fellas at my bros joinery shop sent the new lab down the road for spirit level bubbles trying to be smart well wen the lab returned it cost him a 5er cos he had found somewhere that sells the vials for ya level haha his face was a picture
 

Dansouthcoast84

Private Member
Screw his trainers to the ceiling.
Get him to hold board up wen tacking then fuk off for tea.sweepstake on how long he there.
Dunk head first in waterbutt.
 

Nisus

Elite Member
Dry bum him and then tell him a handful of lime will stop his ring from stinging .

I was always told cream of tartar was more soothing!

That's what my mate told me happened to him anyway.... not me.... him :RpS_unsure:
 

beader

Private Member
When i was started on the first day one of the cocky youngish spreads that i was working with thought it would be big and clever to try and take the piss by throwing my bait bag in the skip , oh how he laughed right up to the point where i head butted him then punched him in the face until it became like a swollen mushy tomato, then i got a stanley knife and held it to his throat and told him that if he ever ****** with me again that i would hunt him and his family down and rape the women and burn the men in there beds like the dogs they are and he would never be seen again .:RpS_mad:.....Do you think this was an over reaction ?. P.S he never spoke to me after that :RpS_confused:.
 

Fatarm

Trainee mod
Maybe it all went pete tong :RpS_unsure:
Fatarm might be........ dead :-0
lol not dead yet nisus, tho might be come Monday,he turned up on Monday morn keen as mustard, he must be about 6ft 3, ideal for ceilins. We just interrogated him on Monday, took the piss out of him bout everything really, love life, his mum, mates etc.cranked things up just a tad on Tuesday, he was helping sheet a ceilin and one of the boys whipped his trousers down when he was holding a sheet above his head, to reveal a lovely pair of White boxers with love hearts and kisses on, well you can imagin the fall out from that? F*****g pissin ourselves wot a red face he had tho, " my bird bought me them" funny as feck. Wednesday, went easy on him I think that was his nicknaming day,he's a big tall boy and he walks kinda stooped over, leans forward his head is about 6 inches in front of his feet if you know what I mean, so he is now known as photo finish lol, Thursday, nothin of note apart from usual banter,ribbin. He's quite up for it and said he expected worse, he knew of the bag of plaster above the head thing, power of you tube eh, then there was today, his phone ran out of battery so he left it in his bag in the van, one of the labs has the same phone so he swapped battery's and text raped it, one message to his bird askin if there was any chance of a threesome with him and his best mate, And one to his best mate asking if he would be interested in a threesome with him and his bird, and a text to his driving instructor cancelling his next lesson cause he can't handle his b.o and bad breath.deleted the texts, Swapped battery's back, and as he left today I said have a nice weekend, sorry for the long winded post but that is just the highlights, roll on monday:RpS_lol::RpS_thumbsup::RpS_biggrin: oh do you's guys think we've went easy on him???
No dry bummin or anything sexual things guys sorry, Always next week:RpS_biggrin:
 

bubbles65

Well-Known Member
Lol, that's a goodun. We had a bloke like that but he walks with his hand behind his back so we called him 'speedskater' :RpS_thumbsup:
 

Fatarm

Trainee mod
Remember plug from the beano?
Sounds like your lab fatarm :rolleyes)

photo-510.jpg
Lol to be honest you're not far wrong with plug mate, but I don't think he'll be thinking I am special come Monday, I can't get the phone rape out my mind now!:RpS_crying:
 

Fatarm

Trainee mod
Yes you're right, maybe I am gettin soft in my old age I nearly felt sorry fir him there lol thanks:RpS_biggrin:
 
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