funny things you do to the labourer

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user_removed

Well-Known Member
my missus has bollocked me today for bullying the labourer.

Apparently its not very nice to pretend to be the council (housing), call him off a withheld number and tell him the 1 bed flat that he agreed to move into yesterday has now been given to a disabled person instead :bailando:

its also not cool to ring the joiners labourer who is signing on and tell him your from HMRC and he owes £600 in unpaid taxes and asking for his long card number, started crying on phone.

iv sent 1 labourer to butty shop in a womans sports bra, nicked same labourers clothes (all of them) and locked them in back of van on busy street, while sat in bedroom window unlocking and then locking van when he got within 5 feet
 

bobspread

Well-Known Member
kinell mac didn't know you had a sense of humour,you've got to have a laugh in work otherwise wants the point,can't stand working with serious people, brightens the day up when you have a good laugh!
 

theclemo

Private Member
We s**t in the labourers lunch box b4. lunch time couldn't come quickly enough that day I can still remember the tears running down my face
 

malc

TPF Special Forces
labourers are like dunkies handy when you need one but as soon as you are finished through them over your shoulder!
 

Smudger1

Well-Known Member
New laborers are the best fun !

Get my pick axe handle out on pay day ask em if they think they earned it ? when they say yes drop it on yard floor n tell em pick it up. IF YOU DARE !!!

Or drop it in front of them and say " fight me for it " !

Getting them to see if manholes ( drainage ones ! ) are air tight by putting them inside to see iff any light shines in around shut lid ! then either crap n flush or stack cement on lid only for a short while tho so they don`t die !

Other boss`s i saw do some over the top stuff but they`re just evil gits ! :buitre:
 

madmonk

Private Member
a mate of mine got me to ring a brothel the t**t saying she wanted some skimming doin dintknow where to putmy head:nocausagracia:
 

user_removed

Well-Known Member
I had a labourer a few years back, mentioned in first post, he was broke, so I offered him an extra £5.00 to put this wig on (Anne Robinson style) and let me take a picture of him naked.

We were working over summer in student houses, every room had a lock on door, they left loads of strange stuff.

He went downstairs got his kit off put this wig on and came back up, I was just about to get my phone out and I told him I'd left it in van and to wait.

I ran downstairs grabbed all his clothes, hung his boxers from next doors door handle and threw the rest in the van and locked it.

Went back up, him still stood on landing naked with this wig, I walked into front bedroom and locked door.

I shouted what I'd done and he went fooking mental, as he ran downstairs for his pant sI ran after him and banged on the neighbours door, I spent about an hour sat in front bedroom window over looking street and van, unlocking it as he ran out in his pants, then locking it again when he was about 5 feet away. The fittest bird in a mini pulled up behind the van as he was stood there in his boxers.

I regularly get my current lad, drop trouser bend over and when he walks in just say "come on then, let's get it over with" poor sod doesn't know where to look
 

uni-king

Private Member
Done the basics like telling him to ask site agent for rubber nails,glass hammer,sky hooks etc thick c**ts fall for it every time also dropped old lad off before in middle of know where and drove off as he was in back of van we pulled up said rite ur here so he jumped out all bleary eyed as its pitch black in van stood there with a gormless look and went where the f**k am I we drove off laughing tits off..stapled coat etc to wall aswell and loads of crushed up staples rite in bottom of trainers where toes go impossible to get all them out not half as bad as you tho Mac mite have to up the ante wen we get our nxt 1
 

uni-king

Private Member
@mac_plastering I've got a funny feeling, when one of your labs knocks you out for being a fuck1n bully you wont be so quick to come on here gobbing off about it.
I'd hardly say its bullying! Cmon we've all had it done to us its wat makes you we CNT just all stay muted allnday and talk about the weather I dnt mind if people give me stick at work..had 16 year olds telling me to f**k off etc which is funny
 

user_removed

Well-Known Member
Go on then I'll bite.

Truth is I regularly see all lads that have done labouring for me, I play football with 2.

Most times we sit laughing about the craic we had at work over a pint.

Fooking traumatised souls, bless them, I deserve all I get.
 
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thebearbeef

Well-Known Member
If i needed a s**t at work my first gaffer used to call it a blobby jobby because i was apparently fat like mr blobby. Always did it in front of people as well it was character building.


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user_removed

Well-Known Member
I call my boy gump

image.jpg
 

keithuk

Private Member
We s**t in the labourers lunch box b4. lunch time couldn't come quickly enough that day I can still remember the tears running down my face
Shocked you did not get your head kick it for that !


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Fatarm

Trainee mod
Turn up at a random house (where your starting your next job);) and ask him to get out and chap the door and ask if they can move their car from the driveway cause theres a skip/delivery coming etc......
then watch his little face once he knocks on the door as you drive away to your real job:sisi:
 

uni-king

Private Member
To be fair lads doing ok, runs ritmo and is starting to pick up the internals, turns up everyday on time.

I'm going to chuck he a ton in his last wage before Xmas And take him on the piss
We put £200 behind bar last mad Friday at casino and little b*****d still jacked this year
 

Arti

Well-Known Member
To be fair lads doing ok, runs ritmo and is starting to pick up the internals, turns up everyday on time.

I'm going to chuck he a ton in his last wage before Xmas And take him on the piss
and let him pay with his bonus.................................(y)
 

Jgreenplastering

Private Member
I find you can usually tell if a labourer is gonna last by if they agree to work Saturdays and Sunday's!
If so you know there proper keen which is a start!
 
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