ever put your foot in it

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hector

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so this week been skimming out 3 bedrooms , customer has a 11 year old son ,a 14 month baby , and another due in august, so I said to her one day where is your dad today, my dad she says, yes I says where is he, that's not my dad that's my partner, she is 29, and he is 56,....... well I never apologised I had said that's it awkward silence , but anyhoooooo that's the way it goes
 
29 and 56?
hes either got a big tail or chunks of money, so he'll be in his mid 70's when he/she is 18. not right is it.
 
I did some work for a G** couple once and I was late for work because of traffic and when I got there I apologised saying the traffic sucked and was a pain in the arse!! I also said about some materials I bought that I got shafted!! And they pulled my pants down etc I hadn't twigged but the lad I was working with said he was cringing every time I had a chat with them as always some reference came out!? There's another one "came out" !!?? Oh Bugger lol :RpS_laugh:
 
I did one a few weeks back said to Lady of the house "so you must of just moved in then" (based on decor etc) with a face like thunder her reply "no we have lived here for 26yrs actually" hey ho I got paid well tho :RpS_thumbup:
 
I did one a few weeks back said to Lady of the house "so you must of just moved in then" (based on decor etc) with a face like thunder her reply "no we have lived here for 26yrs actually" hey ho I got paid well tho :RpS_thumbup:

Hahahah - Ive done that a few times by accident .... also been overheard telling my lab to wipe his feet on the way out :RpS_thumbup:
 
Did a job on the Fylde coast and it was after 2 in the afternoon and customer said that their son would be getting out of bed soon!?? I said "bloody hell the lazy sod he needs to get a job!!??" Turned out he was a recovering drug addict going cold turkey!! I wasn't offered anymore brews after that and bloke just grunted when I said I was finished and leaving :RpS_blushing:
 
My mate said to a customer who was selling her home "are you moving some where nice or staying in this town " she was moving around the corner :RpS_blushing:
 
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One of my worst gaffes came as the customer (awkward fat furker) said he was going out for few hours! Off he went and the joiner turned up and we got chatting taking the piss as you do and I got quite animated in saying his missus needed a good seeing to at which point the door opened behind me and his wife walked past saying she was going out!!?? How I managed to stop doing the actions and keep a straight face is still a mystery!? :RpS_blushing:

Didn't get the rendering work he wanted doing either :RpS_unsure:
 
Doing internal repair for window company years ago. In main bedroom chest draws needed moving. Asked lady if it ok. She said she will doit. My lad walked in and said you want a hand with that as she had a pair of knickers in her hand putting washing away! Awkward
 
Was in a bar years ago and a cab pulled up outside and three sisters who were all game got out I said to my mate the "surname" sisters have just pulled up outside, in for a shag tonight , bloke taps me on the shoulder and says that's my wife you are talking about, little did I know the eldest had married him a couple of weeks before. They eventualy split up and I did shag her years later.
 
Was on a job last Xmas. There was a young lad there about 9. I say to the kid what do u want off Santa. There was no reply. I didn't think to much about it. The kid got to know us a bit more as we where there for 3days. On the last day my mate says to the kid what do u want off Santa. The kid says I can't get what I want. Then I say u won't get it if u don't ask for it. Then the kid says my dad back. His dad was ded 6 months.
 
Was on a job last Xmas. There was a young lad there about 9. I say to the kid what do u want off Santa. There was no reply. I didn't think to much about it. The kid got to know us a bit more as we where there for 3days. On the last day my mate says to the kid what do u want off Santa. The kid says I can't get what I want. Then I say u won't get it if u don't ask for it. Then the kid says my dad back. His dad was ded 6 months.
:-(
 
Was on a job last Xmas. There was a young lad there about 9. I say to the kid what do u want off Santa. There was no reply. I didn't think to much about it. The kid got to know us a bit more as we where there for 3days. On the last day my mate says to the kid what do u want off Santa. The kid says I can't get what I want. Then I say u won't get it if u don't ask for it. Then the kid says my dad back. His dad was ded 6 months.

:RpS_crying:
 
Told this before on here, bloke I worked for was told by the customer the kids are a bit upset coz the cat died last night, he said "yeh it didn't look well it was shaking and lying in it's own piss yesterday and looked like it was on it's way out" the bloke said "it got run over":huh:
 
Told this before on here, bloke I worked for was told by the customer the kids are a bit upset coz the cat died last night, he said "yeh it didn't look well it was shaking and lying in it's own piss yesterday and looked like it was on it's way out" the bloke said "it got run over":huh:

:RpS_lol:
 
I went to price a job once, lady of the house said "you smell nice, what have you got on"?.
Said "I've got an hard on love, but im surprised you can smell it from there".
Wasn't invited back.
 
One of my worst gaffes came as the customer (awkward fat furker) said he was going out for few hours! Off he went and the joiner turned up and we got chatting taking the piss as you do and I got quite animated in saying his missus needed a good seeing to at which point the door opened behind me and his wife walked past saying she was going out!!?? How I managed to stop doing the actions and keep a straight face is still a mystery!? :RpS_blushing:

Didn't get the rendering work he wanted doing either :RpS_unsure:
had a similar one,, the husband and wife went out then me and my mate start telling each other what wed like to do to the wife ,getting ruder and ruder, next minute the daughter walks in saying she is off to collage,, dont know who was more embarrassed her or us :-0
 
Did a job for a Chinese guy it was`nt the cleanest place i`ve worked in, come dinner time he gives us a bowl full of what he called good food ! we all happy smiley but thinking fek that for a dicky darby, so when he went we all tried feeding it to his dogs but they were having none of it so we piled it up in the hacking off out back n covered it with some bricks.
Next morning rubble was gone he said he got cheap move it boys that were passing to shift it so saved him a skip. One of the lads teasing dinner time wot you got for us to eat today ? he said yoo can fluk off you only gonna **** it all somewhere else if i feed you again !!
 
I was working on some stables a few yrs back, the customer was really flash and spent loads of cash.
One day these fancy doors got delivered and the bricky and I helped unload them from the lorry. The bricky says to me "wonder how much these bloody things cost?" And I say "knowing Mark they must cost an arm and a leg"
The bricky had a prosthetic leg from the knee down as he lost his leg in a motorcycle accident. I wanted the ground to swallow me up when I blurted that out!
 
I was working on some stables a few yrs back, the customer was really flash and spent loads of cash.
One day these fancy doors got delivered and the bricky and I helped unload them from the lorry. The bricky says to me "wonder how much these bloody things cost?" And I say "knowing Mark they must cost an arm and a leg"
The bricky had a prosthetic leg from the knee down as he lost his leg in a motorcycle accident. I wanted the ground to swallow me up when I blurted that out!

I think your comment was quite arm less
 
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