damp on ceiling.

Members online

Status
Not open for further replies.
Has beddy got a fungal staining problem like..............:-0. cant see homebase being to impressed when he waps his mossy balls on the counter and ask if she's "got out for this love".............:RpS_scared:
 
he doesnt pay for the tape just gets a roll does the bizzo rolls it back up and sticks it back up on the shelf
 
Steve in his shed with his marra's :RpS_laugh:
(when he was slimmer of course :RpS_unsure: )

 
Last edited by a moderator:
By
Andrew



This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and b*ll***s. The b*ll***s I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND b*ll***s.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my b*ll***s might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)



hahahaha
:RpS_lol: this is the king of reviews
 
By
A. Chappell (Denmark) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)



This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a G** snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)


[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]even better i was literally struggling to read this i was laffing so much[/FONT]
 
By
A. Chappell (Denmark) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)



This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a G** snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)


[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]even better i was literally struggling to read this i was laffing so much[/FONT]


:RpS_lol:
 
By
glowing orbs - See all my reviews



This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Been trimming the old fizz for a while now, always grows back quick, even on a close fly by with the trimmers!
My mates in the cafe rated it, , the wife rates it, I thought it's got to be good...

Based on that I bought a tube in my lunch hour, having an easy day, so I thought, I'll pop into the site loos and prep myself, surprise the wife tonight and we could both go bare bouncing together.

I did the job, pulled up my kit and washed my hands, thought I had time to spare walking over to the onsite showers...

The onsite showers hadn't been connected yet! This left the water butt way over the other side of the site by the cement mixers...

The site accident report states: ` for some unknown reason the carpenter stripped stark bullock naked running across site, he fell into the cement footings and broke his leg, before climbing out and sitting in the water butt. Unfortunately the brick layer thought he was about to be attacked by a frenzied grey slime coloured beast and smashed his trowel down flat on top of the carpenters head, knocking him unconscious.
The ambulance arrived and because of the carpenters pleading treated the scalded clangers first!
HSE to investigate for unknown harmful toxic substance on site.'

I only remember feeling that I was running ways from a fire reaching between my legs, I don't remember the fall into cement, I don't remember landing arse first into the water butt, I do remember being lifted out of the water and screaming to be put back in.

So, use this stuff only in the bathroom, with the bath already run and your wife standing with a watering can as back up.

My maraca's took five days to settle down, the bleached skin took on the blue dye from the cement retardant in the water butt and my wife won't go down on me, because she says I look like a miniature turkeys neck and can't stop pissing herself laughing until she gets hiccups!

This stuff does do what it says and a whole lot more!
6 out of 5
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top