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  1. B

    Is this acceptable finish? Work is done, but not sure about quality

    Bet the c**t did not use a trowel.
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    Stain on newly rendered wall

    Toilet paper, it will be too late by now, the bird would have flown away.
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    Job quote help

    Calculate how many days to hack-off and remove waste. Calculate how many days to bead-up, Calculate how many days for backing coats, Calculate how many days for finishing coat, Calculate pay rate x amount of days Calculate cost of overheads, tools, equipment, van, diesel, insurance Once you got...
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    How to get glass finish

    The best tip I can give you is, Would you want the bricklayers to build a dense smooth wall for you to render, NO. Well don't give the painters a glass finish to paint.
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    Mark up

    Got go for extra-time.
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    Work available - Liverpool

    A distinction means you wasted too much time , you only needed a pass.
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    One coat plastering

    You will get a really good finish if you Give it two coats.
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    Price per square metre -price per square foot

    Been busy tonight? Why do you always ask the taxi driver that question? You don't really care.
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    Is this acceptable?

    Does it matter? They paid me.
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    Is this acceptable?

    One just before Christmas. Could you come and skim the ceiling and patch up the walls? The things I do for money, should have walked away.
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    Is this acceptable?

    Agree, poor work ask them to sand it back before any more payment. may teach them a lesson for the next job.
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    Mark up

    Never skimmed with cocaine, what's the setting time like?
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    Damp Render

    Are you casing the place, to see what's worth taking?
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    New boy

    Okay, your not fat, not s**t plasterer and bears don't s**t in the woods.
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    Ready bagged one coat render

    That's a rip off price, I would do it for £29,574.99
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    New boy

    Come on Dan, don't be so modest your are not just an alcoholic, You are an fat, ugly, s**t plastering alcoholic?
  18. B

    How much above the average price would you go for a decent renderer/plasterer?

    A warranty length is, as the plasterers drive away. When you can no long see the number plate on the van, the warranty is up.
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    And back to normality

    Should have used Tapit Tape?
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    Are the self maintenance aspects of silicone and monocouche render over-rated?

    It could be when you posted a comment saying (a silicone render system will stay cleaner)?
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    Are the self maintenance aspects of silicone and monocouche render over-rated?

    If you think that looks good you must be ready for retirement? I must be ready for retirement.
  22. B

    And back to normality

    Story of my life Wrong women Wrong trade Wrong forum Life's a bitch then you marry one.
  23. B

    Damp Walls? I'm

    What does it mean when your copper pipes turn blue? The most common copper color changes are blue, green and black. Blue or Bluish-Green – Blue or bluish green coloring can indicate corrosion. If the water appears blue or bluish-green when it comes out of the taps, the corrosion is likely inside...
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    And back to normality

    The only think I have leant from carrying out a lateral flow test is, not if I got COVID but The reason why women do not swallow, when giving a blowjob.
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    And back to normality

    Thanks for sharing.
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    Vans in Manchester

    What do you do, if the place you got to work starts with a C ?
  27. B

    Mark up

    When rendering/floating off the front, when skimming off the top. Not that important, the end result is what counts. You just look sh*t when laying on.
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    To all the billy big bollox on here!!

    I am a kind of glass half empty boke, but now I just say 'f*uk it when it's empty I am going to have another pint.
  29. B

    Hello from Taylor

    Beautiful semi detached property for sale, architectural features, new roof, open plan, balcony, off road parking perfect for DIY, may require some renovation work, offers over £500,000
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    Have you got a problem with your knob dragging on the floor?
  31. B

    Mark up

    It's a hawk if you cut it off the front, and a hand board if you cut off the back, ask Kirk.
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    How much above the average price would you go for a decent renderer/plasterer?

    Sorry for your loss, You seem really upset. That you were left a house that required external rendering work?
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    Is everyone’s phones still ringing?

    Well answer it, then it will stop ringing?
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    Extra Time Retarder!

    Used it a few times, very good, holds set back without any change in the plaster. Great for large ceilings.
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    Drunk driving

    ''When I rode with a copper (I did often)'' Sounds like you have been caught a few times. How many times have you been arrested by the police?
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    May your offcuts of beads be long enough, Hope your new trowel don't get a nick from the beads. Hope your last mix of the days sets in time. Hope your electrical cables are not proud, Hope your electrical cables tails are coiled up in the boxes. Hope your staple gun does not jam up. Hope...
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    Drunk driving

    That's Karma for you give a f*ck get f*cked.
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    happy xmas

    Merry Christmas. At this important time of year. I would also like to say anybody that I offended by my sarcastic post comments in the pass year, Grow a pair, you dick head!
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    I've done it again!

    Don't forget to add plastering to the football and horses list.
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    Refina Megamixer for sale.

    Last forever, but put in a skip? You should of bought two, then when the first one stopped working after forever, you could have used the second one forever?
  41. B

    1930’s Render

    It's a new extension, put a new finishing on it. If you match the finish to the main house and a few years down the line they want the main house done then they will have to match the extension. You are not matching any uneven, out of plumb plastering on the internal work?
  42. B


    The only advantage of material shortage, there is a plastering labour shortage. Do half the work for twice the price.
  43. B

    fan effect artex

    Artex work out how much plaster you need then double it.
  44. B


    It never went up to a pound, it shot straight pass it, Back in the day, I was pleased to have a car that the petrol gauge was higher than the temperature gauge. The main reason I change my car was rust, not the end of a lease deal.
  45. B

    Long time no see

    That's a dashing trowel not a harling trowel?