Words of wisdom

A wise man once said to me .You can polish a turd but at the end of the day it's still a turd.A think he might have been full of s**t
 
You have to piss with the cock you've got....

Faint heart never f**k*d a pig......

You have two ears and only one mouth for a reason....(good for labourers that )
 
Never belch mid felch
Just looked up felching, and found this......
  • News story 1: “In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.” At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.” Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract”
Made me laugh......:sisi:
 
Just looked up felching, and found this......
  • News story 1: “In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.” At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.” Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract”
Made me laugh......:sisi:
Lol , googling felching on a Saturday night! Settling right into TPF then me old fruit
 
Lol , googling felching on a Saturday night! Settling right into TPF then me old fruit
Have watched two rugby games today, apparently this means that I have to suffer an entire evening of meaningless drivel that Mrs.Dropsalot insists is "entertainment"........lol
 
Have watched two rugby games today, apparently this means that I have to suffer an entire evening of meaningless drivel that Mrs.Dropsalot insists is "entertainment"........lol
Two good games, thought England looked a little lacklustre though. I'm looking forward to Wales Italy tomorrow
 
laughing is the best medicine,but if you are laughing without reason you may need medicine
 
you cant make someone "get it".Effort is reflection of interest and you cant force them to see that you are worth it.be wise enough not to waste your time,patient enough not to settle and strong enough not to force it.Whatever is meant to be will be.
 
Suck off a dog
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